19 December 2007

breathing in...

i have found out even more that i am a product of my parents...this town and these people fill me with so so much joy...

Yesterday Christmas break officially started for me! (no more work for two weeks!) and I jumped in my car and headed for good ol' East Texas...

I got in town just in time to find my mom and dad running around like chickens preparing for the day care and and school kids Christmas parties/play last night...Mom, Mrs. Joyce, and I got a chance to run to grab some dinner then head back to the church to party :)

It was soooo good to see people that I haven't seen in what seems like forever, and then to meet new people too. Another thing that was so neat for me was to see kids of every color, size, background, race---some rich, some on welfare, some adopted, all running around laughing and playing with each other...such a sweet picture of our God!

All the kids had spent the day before cooking up all the goodies to serve us and mmmmmmm i just wanted to squeeze them !

Then I the school kids performed their Christmas play. No doubt one of the best experiences of my life. Between Mary getting baby Jesus confused with a football as she literally 'chunked' him into the manger...and King Herod screaming to the top of his lungs "I WANT THAT CHILD!!!!"...its hard to recall my favorite part. I laughed the entire time...they did a phenomenal job!

...when we walked in the door of my home about 10pm i walked in the living room to find: no Christmas tree, no stockings, no decorations...


mom just looked at me and said, "sorry emily, we haven't really had time for that."

at first those words stung as i stared at our living room, i was honestly seflishly hurt that my mom hadn't decorated

but then the Lord opened my heart and my eyes to learn and see the lesson he has been teaching me over and over again--but its difficult for it to soak into me...my flesh fights so hard

one of the things I am so thankful for is that my parents taught me what things in life are to be valued more than others, and what things are more worthy of my effort and my love. now, I'm not saying christmas decorations are evil! gosh no! I absolutely LOVE to decorate and spend all day getting boxes down from the attic and covering our home with lights and garland--that has always been such a joyous and bonding time for our family...but I am also so thankful to come home and see a man and a woman living their life serving their hearts out without having the time to even think about a silly glittering tree in the house, choosing that it is more important to pour themselves out, to spend their time and their resources on others, rather than on themselves. I hope when I grow up* that I will find myself coming home worn out from loving on other people, pressing deeper into furthering our King and His kingdom-- and enthusiastically choosing to do so--not overly concentrated on everything material being perfect for the holidays

(however, yes i really do hope i have a lovely tree too!)

Today we woke up and headed for Shreveport to see a lady in the hospital who just recently had brain surgery. It was a very humbling experience. I so quickly forget about how many people are hurting, sick, and lonely filling the hospitals in our culture. Every time I go to the hospital it is a bit overwhelming for me...first i'm not too great with needles and tubes but beyond that it is a slap on my face of how incredibly self-centered I am. It was good for me to see that. It was good for me to sit in the room with her and just talk and for moments just sit in silence smiling at each other...recognizing how important it is for me to remember those who are sick in my prayers and how my health is SUCH a blessing and gift for me to not take for granted...

after that we headed for the outlets stores on the boardwalk--i needed to pick up a few things for my wonderful roommate, Claire's wedding next weekend. My crazy mom has always taught me to pray for bargains and to be thankful for the Lord providing--well today I am thankful--He knew how much money I had and it was just enough :) and it was so fun walking hand in hand with Mom window shopping like the old days...

tonight we went over to Mrs. Diana's for the daycare teachers Christmas party! so fun! we played white elephant and then one of the women announced she was pregnant which of course caused us to all cry and scream and laugh! I think one of the greatest things God created was laughter and just the ability to feel joy so intense that it can't simply stay inside of you--it has to get out!

soooo the break has begun...i have made a list (of course.) but if the list doesn't get done its ok.

I am praying that I do not take this break, this time, for granted.

"time off" as we call it.

makes me feel like i should shut down, hit the power button, breath in deep....then exhale on Jan. 2 when I return to CS and work.

i think that's what i might just do.

i'm going to attempt to breath in deep...

18 December 2007

back to blogging

so yea this blog thing hasn't really worked out so well. i guess that slightly depends on what your definition of 'well' is; however, I am attempting to commit again to blogging

now that I am done with school, and am beginning to feel human again I can do things.

normal things.

like go grocery shopping.

seriously, I feel like I am in culture shock.

this probably confirms the notion that i might be a tad bit too involved in the things i am involved in...but i'm working through whether that is a good thing or a bad thing...

needless to say, I want to blog again--because I find it purposeful to me--if anything to look back and see all the craziness Father has lead me through

so merry Christmas break to you. specifically b-laire b/c... well you are my reader :)