we both went to school. i was glad we both had school today--otherwise i would have burst with the news
i came home for lunch and shared some tuna with Sara. she was normal. normal sara making tuna. little did she know that she would retell every detail of this day over and over again to so many people, even the part about making tuna :)
i could barely eat my sandwich as our conversation turned to family and fathers and husbands and boyfriends...
i could see her mind churning, thinking about Ryan. and i had to stare at the ground to not shout to her
"Sara! in less than 3 hrs you will know! You will be reassured that he desires you and you alone. You will become aware of the plan he has been planning! your eyes will be opened to see! You will be overwhelmed with the grace of our Father, with His faithfulness to you and his promises to you"
but we both finished our lunch and sara left to go back to school.
it wasn't too long after she got back home that the plan quickly unfolded.
I will leave the rest of the detail story-telling up to Sara :) after all this is her story. this is the story of the journey of her love for Ryan.
however, i can't help but see the resemblance between Sara and Ryan and myself and my God.
isn't beautiful that through people. humans who love and are loved by God resemble him and his characteristics.
I can't help but recognize his pursuit of me.
I wake up every morning to a new day. new mercies. new grace. fresh love from my God
I see the his sunrise every morning on my way to school.
I don't want to ever forget.
I don't want to lay in bed wondering if psalm 139 really is true anymore.
I don't want to worry. I am so tired of wasting precious time feeling unworthy and not good enough. why do i doubt the words of my creator?
He has promised me life and life to the fullest (john 10:10)
He has a good plan prepared for us.
i am so thankful that he continues to love me and continues to give me grace
it's as if I can feel him aching for us to know that we are loved. that his plan is perfect. that he knows every intricate detail of our lives. just like i ached all day to scream at sara!
and guess what... God IS screaming to us. loud through the people around us who contain His spirit. and His creation shouts from every mountain and every string of green grass that makes up our world
i pray we begin to honestly believe
i pray that I will honestly find my new identity in the love that my God has for me