i think one thing i have found to be ever more true as i experience life more and more is that home is not just one single place...and that the word home encompasses so very much.
i love the feeling the word 'home' produces much in my mind and heart.
first, of course, it is much much more than a building--no, that would be called a house
a home is much much different. it even rolls off of your lips smoother.
'home'
it is relaxing, intimate, encouraging, thought provoking, energy producing, life giving, a hidaway, a haven of hope, peaceful, full of love.
when i think of home in my childhood it reminds me of a day full of daddy mowing the lawn--mom and i cooking and watching TLC and snuggling in the recliner--anna and steve coming over for dinner--dad smelling like fresh cut grass mixed with grilling out--all of us laughing and talking spending the rest of the night watching old home videos and looking through old pictures...
how does this simple word hold all of that meaning?
i think it's because it is there--at home-- that I find my family.
my community.
my inner circle of people who honestly breath life into my lungs everyday.
it is quite honestly something that cannot be explained or put into words.
God has given me a great gift.
a home.
the Lord knows me too well. i can't exist without fellowship, and by that i mean i can't go a day without having a conversation with someone--i have to share life with people. if i don't...i begin to die on the inside. (i realize that sounds morbid... but i guarantee you it is true.)
its as if i can feel my organs start to shut down whenever i am deprived of verbally speaking/listening to humans
and if one day goes by that i do not initiate this life-sharing process i can assure you that something is wrong in me. maybe nothing extreme or big but-- i'm either thinking about something that has captivated my thoughts or i am upset or i am sad or i am dissappointed.
basically pick out any type of emotion and it might be happening inside of me. but it is for certain that it is happening.
if i am not asking someone questions about their day or if i am not rattling on and on about my own, well i might as well be screaming "someone just give me a hug!"
I get a lot of thinking and analyzing done by talking with people...i've tried stopping...i've prayed for the Lord to change me because i know i must annoy people too much...but i can't seem to change(however He is graciously teaching me when to keep my mouth shut...however, still and will always be a learning process)--so for now the Lord has blessed me with a family that puts up with my need for verbalizing basically everything that happens in my head
praise the Lord for Claire, Blaire, and Juliette--they are home to me.
they are my family.
i love coming home
Blaire can almost always be found on her laptop.
she is our family's 'techy'. she seems to not readily admit this fact about herself but don't let her fool you she has raw talent... especially compared,of course, to myself who is completely computer illiterate.
i can promise you she has found something amazing. it can be a multitude of things, ranging from the newest little computer game(...holla at the freshman years) to Matt Chandler's wive's blogspot and the newest pictures of their precious fam (which she just so happened upon by going through other random blogs...) or her newest songs/artist obsession on myspace (she has a talent of finding all the talent before anyone else does--and then we hear it on the radio a year later.)
Blaire is also great about projects. If she sees something that needs to be done, or that she wants to be done--she won't sit or sleep till the project is done. and it has to be done right at that moment--no time to waste! she will stop everything that she is doing at the moment and turn all her attention to the new project that simply can't not get down. do not get in her way--she will run you over or recruit you to help!
Blaire makes me be a kid again. praise God for blaire who reminds me to be calm--reminds me that even though there is much to be done--it is ok to make cookies and chill. :) God knew what he was doing when he put us across the table from each other at Freshmen Orientation....little did I know that he was giving me a person that embodied so much of what I am not--so much of what I need to learn...he gave me a part of himself that he wanted me to learn....i am learning (by practically tying my hands behind my back) to rest--to lean back and breathe.
Juliette well...
ahh juliette reminds me daily that I don't live anymore--but Christ does. and that everything i do should not be for myself. She is one of the most purposeful people i know. there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't remind me (through the way she lives) that everything i do should be full of purpose.
juliette never fails to make me feel like my life is the most interesting tv series. she always bombards me with tons of questions--casual questions, direct questions, fast questions, interrupting questions, provocative questions, silly questions, great questions, serious questions... about everything.
My Daddy knew me too well when he so miraculously put us in the same group at Impact Camp. Little did I know that he was giving me someone who inside them held the same heart as me(in not every area but oh sooo many...) He was giving me someone that would challenge me
further
deeper...deeper...deeper...
into my God...
into becoming more like who he created me to be.
and Claire...oh Claire!
Claire is either-a. working out. or b. with Joey :)
Praise God for my personal trainer Ms. Claire hodges! She pushes me to discipline myself more--encourages me to be healthy in order to glorify God more.
Claire is unlike anyone else i have ever met--her personality never ceases to make me laugh!
I feel like I live a whole different life through Claire's life. She has taught me--just by her experiences what it looks like for God to give you a person to glorify Him more. Through her relationship with Joey--my love for my Jesus has grown tremendously!
He has given me a practical picture right here in my own house of what He has done in my life!
She is going through so much right now--so many changes--and there is no doubt in my mind God has placed her to live in the bedroom above me so that I can learn from her.
blaire, juliette, and claire
.this feels like home to me.
they dig into me and pour in so many good things.
we call our home the "Come and See Villa"
...come and see that the Lord is good. that he created us. that he united us. that he gave us life more more more abundantly.
His life in us is something that can't really be explained--come and see.
I know its hard to believe that any good or any unity or any oneness can come from four crazy college girls living in one house together....maybe just as hard as it was for Nathanael to believe that Jesus came from Nazareth...but Philip told him to 'come and see'
it must have been hard for the woman at the well to explain to her community that she had found someone that accepted her and told her he could wash away her sins...all she was left to say was 'come and see'
its hard for me to believe that the Lord wants us and expects us to live in unity. to share unselfishly. to not be bitter towards each other. to be patient daily. to love.
it really doesn't make sense that that could or would happen.
but we are fighting. i refuse to bow and say that because we are girls in college there will always be some sort of bickering or bitterness or jealousy.
we are fighting to look like what Jesus called us to BE.
we fail. we struggle. we repent. and he is changing us. he is humbling us....
.come and see.
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