I feel like I've been thinking about hope a lot, wondering about it more in the past few months than I ever have before. In the midst of studying the theology of "asking" at my church, I find it is quite hard to ask (pray to God) without hope.
But, to hope is such a fragile action. "Don't make me hope", I've said to God more times than I can count. "It hurts too much", I proclaim. For obvious reasons...mainly, if I hope and the thing I hope for does not occur, what then God?
But, I must also say that hoping is fertile ground and having hope is much more reasonable than not having it. Especially with a God like ours, whose specialty is nothing less than the impossible. This reality has become even more real to me during this past advent season. My wildest ideas, the craziest dreams I feel God tenderly drop in my heart, actually seem logical compared to this: a simple virgin is visited by an angel and told that she will become pregnant with a child whose father is God. Nothing in her frame of reference could have prepared her for such a pronouncement. It defied logic. It ignored the precepts of biology. It slapped the face of culture and propriety.
I pray to learn and know what it means to have a greater hope and trust in my Father.
Emily Dickinson says, so beautifully, that "hope is the thing with feathers, that perches on the soul--that sings the tune without words--and never stops--at all--"
Oh how I pray for that hope that God has perched on my soul today. I do pray that God would answer that hope. I pray also for the hopes I have not even voiced. I pray that I would have the ability to place those hopes in His hands, the hands of my Father who truly does love me and who desires to reward me.
"...and without faith it is impossible to please him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." Heb 11
His rewards are great and I've seen them come in many forms, not often in the way I'd ever expect. Actually, hardly ever how I would expect. Yet, even though he might not answer the cry of my hoping as I might imagine I would want it to be answered, he answers in ways that I need and even deeply desire (sometimes without my knowing)to be answered.
let us be people of restored hope...
14 January 2010
02 December 2009
Thankful
i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
by e.e. cummings
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
by e.e. cummings
18 November 2009
wednesday meditation
ah life.
days have passed so quickly...
so much to say, but to somehow keep up with this blog, I'll share what I'm meditating on...
thoughts?
"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended, but one things I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 3:12-14
"Dear souls, how little they know that the abiding in Christ is just meant for the weak, and so beautifully sutied to their feebleness. It is not the doing of some great thing that does not demand that we first lead a holy and devoted life. No, it is simply weakness entrusting itself to a MIght One to be kept--the unfaithful one casting self on One who is altogether turstworthy and true. Abiding in Him is not a work that we hav eto do as the condition for enjoying His salvation, but a consenting to let Him do all fo rus, and in us, and through us. It is a work He does for us: the fruit and the power of His redeeming love. Our part is simply to yield, to trust, and to wait for what He has engaged to perform."
Andrew Murray, Abide in Christ
days have passed so quickly...
so much to say, but to somehow keep up with this blog, I'll share what I'm meditating on...
thoughts?
"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended, but one things I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 3:12-14
"Dear souls, how little they know that the abiding in Christ is just meant for the weak, and so beautifully sutied to their feebleness. It is not the doing of some great thing that does not demand that we first lead a holy and devoted life. No, it is simply weakness entrusting itself to a MIght One to be kept--the unfaithful one casting self on One who is altogether turstworthy and true. Abiding in Him is not a work that we hav eto do as the condition for enjoying His salvation, but a consenting to let Him do all fo rus, and in us, and through us. It is a work He does for us: the fruit and the power of His redeeming love. Our part is simply to yield, to trust, and to wait for what He has engaged to perform."
Andrew Murray, Abide in Christ
27 October 2009
the hood.
From [biblical and] theological perspectives, the neighborhood is an important place by its very nature. It is home; the place we inhabit. It’s where God’s presence is most tangible and it’s where the church is called to be. We human beings are most human when we embrace the places of our lives from the inside; when we live rooted lives that respect the daily places that inhabit us and make us who we are. So too with God: the God of the Christian faith is the God who takes on flesh and blood and moves into the neighborhood; the God en-fleshed in our most mundane surroundings, forever sanctifying them as sacred. So too, the church: by its very nature it’s an embedded community that cannot exist apart from its most local surroundings. It is a neighborhood reality, a church most true to its character when it lives and breathes right where it is.
-Simon Carey Holt, God Next Door: Spirituality & Mission in the Neighborhood, p. 89
-Simon Carey Holt, God Next Door: Spirituality & Mission in the Neighborhood, p. 89
17 October 2009
i'm less afraid to fail than to never try.
i'm not sure i'm ready to do this.
update, i mean.
i feel like there is so much, but i'm not quite sure how to articulate it all just yet.
i say that i do this for the sake of those who read this (hi mom:)
but, i think (although, i hate to admit it) that writing here is beneficial for me too.
so, cue the music (preferably, this). quick update...
over the past 3 weeks, I:
*stopped working at IJM (international justice mission)
*moved quadrants, i.e. across the city (from SE DC to NE DC)
*started working part-part time at my church with a non-profit, The Antioch Group
*obviously, along the way, became obsessed with parentheticals
*started a neighborhood prayer group (really excited about this!)
*completed 2 wks of my training to become a counselor at Capital Hill Crisis Pregnancy Center
*started my new job called "Emily, wake up and Apply for Jobs (and don't forget to work out or you will get grumpy)".
Ok, yep. that about covers it.
well, in between you should throw in:
*weekend trip to NYC to see margie (=new jewelry:)
*lots of porch talks with my neighbors
*a few flag football games (as a player, not a watcher)
*mornings at the coffee shop with my trusty laptop
*killer house warming partaaay (thanks friends and new hood!) (=ed amazing paintings for our living room & too much pumpkin bread)
it's been great. it's been difficult. to be candid (and to steal from a previous post of mine that still rings true), there are days when I feel very happy and very content in life. Then there are days when I feel uneasy and desirous of everything I am not. I wish I could have a conversation with each of you so that I could more accurately and more honestly explain to you how beautiful, frustrating, simple, intricate, busy, exciting, troubling, painful, peaceful my day to day life truly is. Please don’t believe that my life is without fault and perfectly joyful, and please don’t believe that I am miserable or unsatisfied. I swing, back and forth. I do, however, attempt to pump my legs as hard as I can to swing closer to the joyful side of things.
My pastor said this morning that the trials we go through in life are the exercise room for our faith to be challenged, to change, and to grow. ("Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." james)
i really like that image.
yesterday, my friend mentioned that it seems i'm in a waiting room.
waiting room or gym?
the gym analogy makes me feel a bit more productive, so we'll go with that one.
but i like the waiting room analogy too. i like the image of sitting with people, of having them sit with you, learning about each other, listening to each other and patiently, joyfully living the in between. although, this "in between" feeling i'm experiencing is basically the epitome of what we as believers are called to live forever on this earth, right? we are always in between. we are in between being created in our home and going home to our creator.
so, perhaps, we should just assume to be in the exercise room 24/7, or sit in the waiting room 24/7, i'll let you pick the analogy that makes you most happy :)
well, anyways.
So yes, i'm working out a LOT. (not literally, but figuratively)
(is this post annoying anyone else? we aren't getting anywhere...)
(i'm sorry)
(i'm stopping)
(i'll come back, i promise)
~em
update, i mean.
i feel like there is so much, but i'm not quite sure how to articulate it all just yet.
i say that i do this for the sake of those who read this (hi mom:)
but, i think (although, i hate to admit it) that writing here is beneficial for me too.
so, cue the music (preferably, this). quick update...
over the past 3 weeks, I:
*stopped working at IJM (international justice mission)
*moved quadrants, i.e. across the city (from SE DC to NE DC)
*started working part-part time at my church with a non-profit, The Antioch Group
*obviously, along the way, became obsessed with parentheticals
*started a neighborhood prayer group (really excited about this!)
*completed 2 wks of my training to become a counselor at Capital Hill Crisis Pregnancy Center
*started my new job called "Emily, wake up and Apply for Jobs (and don't forget to work out or you will get grumpy)".
Ok, yep. that about covers it.
well, in between you should throw in:
*weekend trip to NYC to see margie (=new jewelry:)
*lots of porch talks with my neighbors
*a few flag football games (as a player, not a watcher)
*mornings at the coffee shop with my trusty laptop
*killer house warming partaaay (thanks friends and new hood!) (=ed amazing paintings for our living room & too much pumpkin bread)
it's been great. it's been difficult. to be candid (and to steal from a previous post of mine that still rings true), there are days when I feel very happy and very content in life. Then there are days when I feel uneasy and desirous of everything I am not. I wish I could have a conversation with each of you so that I could more accurately and more honestly explain to you how beautiful, frustrating, simple, intricate, busy, exciting, troubling, painful, peaceful my day to day life truly is. Please don’t believe that my life is without fault and perfectly joyful, and please don’t believe that I am miserable or unsatisfied. I swing, back and forth. I do, however, attempt to pump my legs as hard as I can to swing closer to the joyful side of things.
My pastor said this morning that the trials we go through in life are the exercise room for our faith to be challenged, to change, and to grow. ("Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." james)
i really like that image.
yesterday, my friend mentioned that it seems i'm in a waiting room.
waiting room or gym?
the gym analogy makes me feel a bit more productive, so we'll go with that one.
but i like the waiting room analogy too. i like the image of sitting with people, of having them sit with you, learning about each other, listening to each other and patiently, joyfully living the in between. although, this "in between" feeling i'm experiencing is basically the epitome of what we as believers are called to live forever on this earth, right? we are always in between. we are in between being created in our home and going home to our creator.
so, perhaps, we should just assume to be in the exercise room 24/7, or sit in the waiting room 24/7, i'll let you pick the analogy that makes you most happy :)
well, anyways.
So yes, i'm working out a LOT. (not literally, but figuratively)
(is this post annoying anyone else? we aren't getting anywhere...)
(i'm sorry)
(i'm stopping)
(i'll come back, i promise)
~em
16 September 2009
O God,
Help me discover the gifts you have gien me and how to use those gifts in a way that is worthy of the giver. Help me discover something of who I am from the things that I write, whether those things are a letter or a journal entry , a poem or a play, a novel or a note to a friend. In those lines and between those lines help me discover how to live my life. Grant that I might live it honestly, without pretensions or pseudonyms, and fragrantly, with the aroma of extravangant love spilling from the brokenness of my heart onto yours.
~a prayer for discovery
14 September 2009
Ocean City Triathlon!
Headed to the beach again this weekend! This time, for something all together different than the previous mentioned R&R.
Saturday morning as I packed up my swimsuite and googles, I kept questioning if this was actually happening. (Mind you, the kid googles from Target are probably not the best to use when doing a sprint-triathlon, but in an effort to save money--they actually did quite well!)
I don't consider myself an "athletic" person, but I do enjoy working out and I like to make that a priority in my life. However, I have NEVER competed in a race. When first approached by Melanie back in May about doing a Sprint-Tri, I really didn't give it a second thought. Sprint-Triathlon? Me? That's just not something I do.
But, then I started thinking about it and realized that it would be a good challenge and would allow me to change up my workout. I easily am distracted and bored if I keep doing the same thing at the gym. Reason #1 I don't think I'd be able to do a marathon or even half-marathon. All you do is run, and that is very daunting. But--a sprint-tri? As soon as you are tired of swimming, you start biking! As soon as you are tired of biking, you start running!
So this is what it looked like...
.35 mile swim, in the ocean.
13.5 mile bike
3.1 mile run, on the ocean shore
Here is me at the finish line! After traveling on/in the ocean, the road, and the shoreline~
Here is the wonderful family and friends that convinced me to do this. They cheered me on the whole way!
Some things I learned:
1) They write your age on your calf in permenant marker. I'm convinced this is done to push you harder. I mean, it doesn't feel too good to have someone pass you that has 53 written on their calf.
2) Be prepared for changes. We arrived at the race and learned that the running leg would be on the shoreline (like, on the sand instead of on the road).
3) If you don't have a road bike, you should prep yourself to be passed by everyone. It's ok, there is always next time. :)
4) All technical skill goes out the window as soon as you hit the waves. It was as if I forgot all the things I did while training.
But, I accomplished all of my goals:
1) Do not stop!
2) Do not be last!
3) Have fun :)
It's probably safe to say that I have been bitten by the bug. I am already looking at road bikes online...
But for now, all I want is a big juicy hamburger and french fries!
Saturday morning as I packed up my swimsuite and googles, I kept questioning if this was actually happening. (Mind you, the kid googles from Target are probably not the best to use when doing a sprint-triathlon, but in an effort to save money--they actually did quite well!)
I don't consider myself an "athletic" person, but I do enjoy working out and I like to make that a priority in my life. However, I have NEVER competed in a race. When first approached by Melanie back in May about doing a Sprint-Tri, I really didn't give it a second thought. Sprint-Triathlon? Me? That's just not something I do.
But, then I started thinking about it and realized that it would be a good challenge and would allow me to change up my workout. I easily am distracted and bored if I keep doing the same thing at the gym. Reason #1 I don't think I'd be able to do a marathon or even half-marathon. All you do is run, and that is very daunting. But--a sprint-tri? As soon as you are tired of swimming, you start biking! As soon as you are tired of biking, you start running!
So this is what it looked like...
.35 mile swim, in the ocean.
13.5 mile bike
3.1 mile run, on the ocean shore
Here is me at the finish line! After traveling on/in the ocean, the road, and the shoreline~
Here is the wonderful family and friends that convinced me to do this. They cheered me on the whole way!
Some things I learned:
1) They write your age on your calf in permenant marker. I'm convinced this is done to push you harder. I mean, it doesn't feel too good to have someone pass you that has 53 written on their calf.
2) Be prepared for changes. We arrived at the race and learned that the running leg would be on the shoreline (like, on the sand instead of on the road).
3) If you don't have a road bike, you should prep yourself to be passed by everyone. It's ok, there is always next time. :)
4) All technical skill goes out the window as soon as you hit the waves. It was as if I forgot all the things I did while training.
But, I accomplished all of my goals:
1) Do not stop!
2) Do not be last!
3) Have fun :)
It's probably safe to say that I have been bitten by the bug. I am already looking at road bikes online...
But for now, all I want is a big juicy hamburger and french fries!
04 September 2009
date with obx.
headed to the coast for some r&r.
could not be more terrified and grateful to have this time away. time away from the chaos (chaos: typically refers to a state lacking order or predictability--yep my life, check check). i haven't updated too much recently, but much has changed and continues to change. i'm not in a place to articulate it all quite yet, but stay tuned...
so yes, time away.
time away from the internet (save mr.bb), time away from job searching, time away from logistics, time away from the 8-5, time away from suits, time away from...
and time away to enjoy, to stop, to sit, to read, to wear t-shirts, to meditate, to soak up, to love, to run, to swim, to play...
obx, i have never met you, but i feel a bit like a 16 yr old girl on her first date, nervous/excited and all knotted up.
see below, my new 3 day home:
23 August 2009
the fathers' house
I've been house sitting at the Fathers' house next door. It has been a grand experience.
For one, they live in a real house, like with real furniture and real door knobs. I, on the other hand, live in a somewhat disheveled house, with walls that have been painted white at least 6 times and appliances that take about 2 hrs to explain exactly how to get them to work. But, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my quirky hill home. They also have flowers, and a balcony....which make me love my house just a little bit less. :)
So yes, our neighbors (two priests), happened to ask me to water their plants and look after things while they were out of town for the past two weeks.
Of course, I dived into Merton. They have all of his writings sitting on their bookshelf (!!!). I was introduced to Merton by a dear friend in college, and I have been constantly intrigued by his thoughts on faith and God ever since.
On my 2 week bedside table sat a book of Merton's poetry with brilliant commentary to follow. Below is a sample of one that instantly pierced my soul, surprised me with its relativity and soothed me nightly as I re-read it over and over again...
"Probably the earliest of this group of poems, this poem presents a series of natural “emblems” that are called upon to function as meaningful signs in a season, if not of fury, at least of emptiness and apparent deadness. The barren natural landscape with its hidden vitality serves as an analogue for the inevitable and necessary winter periods of the human heart and spirit, which are summoned to undergo the detachment and purification of naked faith, “the evidence of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1)
Love Winter When the Plant Says Nothing
O little forests, meekly
Touch the snow with low branches!
O covered stones
Hide the house of growth!
Secret
Vegetal words,
Unlettered water,
Daily zero.
Pray undistracted
Curled Tree
Carved in steel
Buried zenith!
Fire, turn inward
To your weak fort,
To a burly infant spot,
A house of nothing.
O peace, bless this mad place:
Silence, love this growth
O silence, golden zero
Unsetting sun
Love winter when the plant says nothing
Fire, turn inward
To your weak fort,
To a burly infant spot,
A house of nothing.
(note on Stanza #4: "Here the paradox of the “weak fort” (from “fortis”—“strong”) combining protection with vulnerability, both contrasts with the “steel” tree of the previous stanza and suggests St. Paul’s statements, “When I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10). It is identified with a contrasting paradox, in which the “infant spot” is characterized as “burly”, a site of new beginnings, a lif-generating womb, that has unexpected strength and substance. This “fort” and “spot” is finally identified as “A House of Nothing”—apparently the opposite of “the house of growth” hidden in the opening stanza, but properly to be identified with it. Recognition that “the house of growth” must also be “A house of nothing” is the essential insight of the poem, the point at which the lessons of winter are revealed as a paradigm for authentic spiritual development: only by being reduced to nothing, by dying to autonomous, self-generated aspiration, can genuine growth take place. The concluding lines of the poem provide the context in which such a recognition can take place.")
I want to be a house of nothing.
God, give me naked faith, “the evidence of things not seen”.
15 August 2009
tour del sur :)
road trip
3500miles
hilton head island, SC--beach, best dog ever, elliott
savannah, GA--paula dean, candy, talking streets
birmingham, AL--urban cowboys, tip top grill
daingerfield, TX--family love, romeo, b-laire, watermelon, rodeo, jesus
So long D.C. South, here we come!
my co-pilot
Mr. Elliott Daniels
theloveofmylife
Best pralines I've ever tasted.
queen.bee.
Why, hello there Ms. Paul Dean.
tip.top.grill
....almost home
Welcome to Texas, thank you Blue Bell :)
Just in time to go tomato pickin'
cutie
just a doll :)
yes, I know. It is upside down.
you know, just petting the deer.
playing cowboys.
momma loving
gurl, we are canning!
We LOVE Robin :)
sweetheart. :)
the gang headed to the watermelon festival~
yes, the hillbilly express made an appearance.
\
somebody was a little excited about the beads...
WATERMELON.
rodeo time
mis padres/themostamazingpeoplei'veevermet.
i hope to be like them when i grow up.
cousins!
family :)
ahhhhhh. dairy queen.
besos,
em
3500miles
hilton head island, SC--beach, best dog ever, elliott
savannah, GA--paula dean, candy, talking streets
birmingham, AL--urban cowboys, tip top grill
daingerfield, TX--family love, romeo, b-laire, watermelon, rodeo, jesus
So long D.C. South, here we come!
my co-pilot
Mr. Elliott Daniels
theloveofmylife
Best pralines I've ever tasted.
queen.bee.
Why, hello there Ms. Paul Dean.
tip.top.grill
....almost home
Welcome to Texas, thank you Blue Bell :)
Just in time to go tomato pickin'
cutie
just a doll :)
yes, I know. It is upside down.
you know, just petting the deer.
playing cowboys.
momma loving
gurl, we are canning!
We LOVE Robin :)
sweetheart. :)
the gang headed to the watermelon festival~
yes, the hillbilly express made an appearance.
\somebody was a little excited about the beads...
WATERMELON.
rodeo time
mis padres/themostamazingpeoplei'veevermet.
i hope to be like them when i grow up.
cousins!
family :)
ahhhhhh. dairy queen.
besos,
em
04 August 2009
His Holy Pillow
It is here you birthed me
My flesh, my breath, my self
To unassuming parents; broken, healed, redeemed, called children of yours
It is here you filled me
Your spirit, your longings, your purpose
Penetrating every part of me, infiltrating each moment, thought, and heart’s desire
It is here you changed me
Watched me continually, and continually still, bounce between
holding tightly and letting go
struggling and freedom
weary songs and joyful melodies
arrogant perspectives and broken revelations
empty, desirous of everything and overflowingly full
you are before and after and in between it all
It is here your voice came alive to me
The experience of love manifest
I saw your face in my momma’s selfless grace
I witnessed your mercy in my sister’s constant care
I heard your whisper in silence, in laughter, in daddy's bear hugs
It is here you invited me
to breath in and out slowly
to rest
to relax
and to fall deeper into your holy pillow
My flesh, my breath, my self
To unassuming parents; broken, healed, redeemed, called children of yours
It is here you filled me
Your spirit, your longings, your purpose
Penetrating every part of me, infiltrating each moment, thought, and heart’s desire
It is here you changed me
Watched me continually, and continually still, bounce between
holding tightly and letting go
struggling and freedom
weary songs and joyful melodies
arrogant perspectives and broken revelations
empty, desirous of everything and overflowingly full
you are before and after and in between it all
It is here your voice came alive to me
The experience of love manifest
I saw your face in my momma’s selfless grace
I witnessed your mercy in my sister’s constant care
I heard your whisper in silence, in laughter, in daddy's bear hugs
It is here you invited me
to breath in and out slowly
to rest
to relax
and to fall deeper into your holy pillow
10 July 2009
Honduras
great op-ed on what is happening in Honduras:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124683595220397927.html
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124683595220397927.html
09 July 2009
proverbs 3:5-6
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
don't sulk under his loving correction.
It's the child he loves that God corrects;
a father's delight is behind all this.
06 July 2009
i'm going bananas
over bananas.
I like bananas and I eat them often, but never before have I been abnormally obsessed with them. They are an amazing food. They do incredible things, like make ice cream all by their lonesome. I'm serious. I know, you don't believe me, but try to trust me. I'll share with you just 2 quick recipes that you must try, and you will become a believer in power of bananas. These recipes have no sugar, no cream, no milk, no butter, no flour--and they are the sweetest and best tasting thing ever!
Recipe 1: THE Banana Cookie/Granola Bar/Best 'on the go' Breakfast Ever.
3 Ingredients:
3 Bananas (really ripe and mashed up)
2 cups of old fashioned oats
1 teaspoon of Vanilla extra
Mix all together. Feel free to add cinnomon, pumpkin pie spice, nutmeg, or whatever tickles your fancy to taste. In my opinion, the more spice the better! Drop into tablespoon size balls on a cookie sheet. Cook at 350 for 10-15 minutes or until cookie is lightly brown. *put in a air tight container and keep refridgerated--I like to spread some PB and sprinkle some extra cinnamon on mine~)
Recipe 2: Banana Ice Cream
1 Ingredient:
Frozen Bananas.
Yep. That's all. Frozen Bananas. Over the past months, I have found a dear love for frozen bananas. I like to eat one on my way to the gym or just as an afternoon snack--but this past week, I found out that frozen bananas are miraculous. They make ice cream.
Ok, here's how you do it:
Freeze Bananas (peel them and put them in a plastic bag in the freezer) Once completely frozen, remove from bag and cut up into smaller pieces. Place frozen banana pieces in a food processor. Blend for about 3 to 5 minutes. You might loose faith at first, but keep blending, just keep blending. You might stop a few times and scrap down the sides of the food processor and stir everything up. TaDa! Banana Ice Cream! This creation seriously rivals any new hip cool frozen yogurt! Move over PinkBerry.
*I also like to add a dash of cinnomon to top mine off* (oh, and you should be ready to eat this as soon as you make it, it melts fast. I haven't tried freezing the ice cream yet, so I'm not sure if it freezes well--I'll try that next time!)
Let me know if you try these or if you too have any simple banana recipes :)
enjoy!
I like bananas and I eat them often, but never before have I been abnormally obsessed with them. They are an amazing food. They do incredible things, like make ice cream all by their lonesome. I'm serious. I know, you don't believe me, but try to trust me. I'll share with you just 2 quick recipes that you must try, and you will become a believer in power of bananas. These recipes have no sugar, no cream, no milk, no butter, no flour--and they are the sweetest and best tasting thing ever!
Recipe 1: THE Banana Cookie/Granola Bar/Best 'on the go' Breakfast Ever.
3 Ingredients:
3 Bananas (really ripe and mashed up)
2 cups of old fashioned oats
1 teaspoon of Vanilla extra
Mix all together. Feel free to add cinnomon, pumpkin pie spice, nutmeg, or whatever tickles your fancy to taste. In my opinion, the more spice the better! Drop into tablespoon size balls on a cookie sheet. Cook at 350 for 10-15 minutes or until cookie is lightly brown. *put in a air tight container and keep refridgerated--I like to spread some PB and sprinkle some extra cinnamon on mine~)
Recipe 2: Banana Ice Cream
1 Ingredient:
Frozen Bananas.
Yep. That's all. Frozen Bananas. Over the past months, I have found a dear love for frozen bananas. I like to eat one on my way to the gym or just as an afternoon snack--but this past week, I found out that frozen bananas are miraculous. They make ice cream.
Ok, here's how you do it:
Freeze Bananas (peel them and put them in a plastic bag in the freezer) Once completely frozen, remove from bag and cut up into smaller pieces. Place frozen banana pieces in a food processor. Blend for about 3 to 5 minutes. You might loose faith at first, but keep blending, just keep blending. You might stop a few times and scrap down the sides of the food processor and stir everything up. TaDa! Banana Ice Cream! This creation seriously rivals any new hip cool frozen yogurt! Move over PinkBerry.
*I also like to add a dash of cinnomon to top mine off* (oh, and you should be ready to eat this as soon as you make it, it melts fast. I haven't tried freezing the ice cream yet, so I'm not sure if it freezes well--I'll try that next time!)
Let me know if you try these or if you too have any simple banana recipes :)
enjoy!
28 June 2009
moving forward, not knowing where to go
it's that time again.
awesome.
i'm pretty convinced that "I'm at another turning point..." is a phrase that might not ever be exempt from my vocabulary, but, instead has become an essential statement to describe life.
awesome.
although, while talking to my best friend, i realized something. if i'm always at another turning point, then, in reality, i'm just going in circles. hmmm. that's not really the direction (read: direction-less) i want to be walking towards.
well, neither here nor there.
i'm at another turning point. it is a vulnerable place. a place that has become quite familiar but no more comfortable than when i first encountered it. my job at IJM is over in September. i'm unsure of what is next, and, although, i do not want to be overly concerned about what is next, i am realizing that is inevitable. my nature bends that way. the way towards worrying, preoccupation about the future and fear with a little touch of schizophrenia.
i know my dear Father calls me to a different way. a way that is full of peace. a way towards freedom. i know he calls me to rest. i know he calls me to not be concerned with man's voice or man's approval, but with the Kingdom of Heaven. However, it is so easy to be concerned with the things of this world, even good things. i find myself spending hours that turn into days of pondering different scenarios of life, of "ifs" and "whens".
i had dinner with a good friend the other night. she asked me, quite directly, "Emily, are you more concerned with what you are doing than with who you are becoming?"
i didn't have to blink before i knew the answer to that question. conviction comes like a sweet perfume, begging to overcome the stinch and allow itself to pour over me. i needed that perfume. you see, i've been trained my whole life to care more about what i am doing more than who i am becoming. this world begs me to care. we attend colleges for a certain training in order to do a job. we move across the country for jobs. i am trained to care about what i DO.
do we as believers move to places, to colleges, to communities because we feel that by moving there it will shape us? it seems that this is usually an afterthought. Are our decisions about life based on the desire for our person, our soul, our mind, our being to be shaped more into the person of Christ? i want my decisions to be based on this. (obviously, i'm not saying that you shouldn't make decisions based on what you do--but, perhaps, put the same amount of preparation and thought into how that decision will change WHO you are.)
do we as believers move to places, to colleges, to communities because we feel that by moving there it will shape us? it seems that this is usually an afterthought. Are our decisions about life based on the desire for our person, our soul, our mind, our being to be shaped more into the person of Christ? i want my decisions to be based on this. (obviously, i'm not saying that you shouldn't make decisions based on what you do--but, perhaps, put the same amount of preparation and thought into how that decision will change WHO you are.)
I want to ask myself, who do you want to BE Emily? Isn't that what this is all about? this life--be-coming more like Christ? showing Christ to the world? i fully understand that what we do is in direct correlation with who we are, but let's face the music--i'm most certainly putting the cart before the horse. furthermore, and more importantly, i want to focus my attention on WHO trasforms me, restores me, changes me. i want to pursue and seek after my Father. i want to know Him more fully. i want no other distractions from my one desire to know Him. no doubt that if i live on that vine, my fruit will follow. unfortunately, i'm concentrating too much on what field i want God to plant me in, instead of the fruit he wants to produce in me--regardless of where i am planted. (i'm reading Galations at the moment, hope this analogy is making sense...)
i say often that i am waiting on God. waiting on what? should be the question that follows. then the truth would come out. i would list a number of things...i'm waiting on a job, a place, a person, an opportunity, more money, a direction...
See, i'm a very silly tree.
Didn't i just claim that i was waiting on God? whom? God. ah, yes.
Him. God. Father. Jesus. Lover. Spirit. Speaker. Stir in me. Stir up WHO you have called me to Be.
alli rogers' song echoes close to my heart today. could you please pray that i will trust my Daddy God enough to be brave? pray that i trust his still small voice above the deafening screams of the world around me.
I will find my place
I don’t know what’s going on today
but lead me down
whatever path has led me here
I may never conquer this fear
But you have never left me
I have sunken inward and scattered out again
And you have never left
And if I’m brave I will find my place
Maybe courage is not all they say
Cause I have found
that the sweetest moment on this road
is moving forward, not knowing where to go
And you have never left me
I have broken down
and danced around your truth
And you have never left
If I’m brave I will move through fear
Through circling around and nothing’s ever clear
I will find my place, through jumping up and down
and I still can’t see your face
But you have never left me
I have run away and denied your name
and you have never left
You have never left me
And if I’m brave I will, if I’m brave
15 June 2009
vague stirrings
(excerpt from Traveling Mercies, Anne Lamott)
...A memory came to me then, of our pastor telling us just the week before how she gets direction from God in prayer; she said that when she prays for direction, one spot of illumination always appears just beyond her feet, a circle of light into which she can step. She moved away from the pulpit to demonstrate, stepping forward shyly into an imagined spotlight, and then, after standing there looking puzzled, she moved another step forward to where the light had gone, two feet ahead of where she had been standing, and then again.
"We in our Faith work," she said, "stumble along toward where we think we're supposed to go, bumbling along, and here is what's so amazing--we end up getting exactly where we are supposed to be."
But I couldn't discern even what direction to face. And I didn't understand why as usual God couldn't give me a loud or obvious answer, through a megaphone or thunder, skywriting or stigmata. Why does God always use dreams, intuition, memory, phone calls, vague stirrings in my heart? I would say that this really doesn't work for me at all.
Except that it does.
...A memory came to me then, of our pastor telling us just the week before how she gets direction from God in prayer; she said that when she prays for direction, one spot of illumination always appears just beyond her feet, a circle of light into which she can step. She moved away from the pulpit to demonstrate, stepping forward shyly into an imagined spotlight, and then, after standing there looking puzzled, she moved another step forward to where the light had gone, two feet ahead of where she had been standing, and then again.
"We in our Faith work," she said, "stumble along toward where we think we're supposed to go, bumbling along, and here is what's so amazing--we end up getting exactly where we are supposed to be."
But I couldn't discern even what direction to face. And I didn't understand why as usual God couldn't give me a loud or obvious answer, through a megaphone or thunder, skywriting or stigmata. Why does God always use dreams, intuition, memory, phone calls, vague stirrings in my heart? I would say that this really doesn't work for me at all.
Except that it does.
11 June 2009
what do you want to say?
what i want to say is stop. just stop and enjoy where you are. soak in the people around you, soak in the smell, soak in every conversation. don't wish you were somewhere else.
what i want to say is if you do wish you were somewhere else, then take the plunge and go there. yes, it will probably be difficult, but it will be a wonderful difficult experience.
what i want to say is listen to patty g. before falling asleep.
what i want to say is the grass really does seem greener on the other side. sometimes it actually is, i've found that it usually is not.
what i want to say is i wish i could eat an avacado every day.
what i want to say is read the psalms. over and over again.
what i want to say is knowing God is a really uncertain, joyful, frustrating, ironic process.
what i want to say is i really don't know anything. i'm just learning about everything.
what i want to say is i really don't know anything. i'm just learning about everything.
what i want to say is dance, dance often.
what i want to say is try something you know you will fail at. yes, something you might fail at--you might not fail :)
what i want to say is our God is a God of JOY, JOY uncontainable. This Joy erupts, it spreads, it multiplies, it is profoundly central to the gospel i cling to. This joy is experienced, is expressed, is fostered through many ways, people, activities, moments, thoughts, places...
what i want to say is our God is a God of JOY, JOY uncontainable. This Joy erupts, it spreads, it multiplies, it is profoundly central to the gospel i cling to. This joy is experienced, is expressed, is fostered through many ways, people, activities, moments, thoughts, places...
what i want to say is good food + good people is one of the best combinations.
what i want to say is i wish i could live in daingerfield and in d.c. at the same time.
what i want to say is probably what you want to say.
what i want to say is i could probably talk on the phone all day long. oh wait, i do.
what i want to say is He is my faithful witness.
what i want to say is soul be stirred. soul be stirred. soul be stirred.
01 June 2009
in the news...
human trafficking news across America:
http://www.kvue.com/news/top/stories/041509kvue-HumanTrafficking-eh.d8efabbd.html
http://www.krqe.com/dpp/news/crime/crime_krqe_albuquerque_experts_target_youngsters_in_sex_trade_2009041420400
http://claremontportside.com/index.php?/20090413236/International/Modern-Day-Slavery.html
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/laworder/story/E0CC4539E4E174A486257597005AD3AB?OpenDocument
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=483924
http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/dpp/news/2_Charged_with_Underage_Sex_Trafficking_041609
http://www.thedailyaztec.com/city/eye-on-illegal-traffic-1.1715013
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/04/my-entry-1.html
Feels so unreal...Researching and reading articles like these opens my eyes to see the reality of what is happening around us, even in the land of the free. I am continually shocked at what I learn on a daily basis through IJM of what is happening in the realm of human trafficking across the globe and always caught without words to see what is happening only a few streets away from me.
Most likely, girls and boys are being trafficked and sold for sex in a city near you. Did you know this? I know this question gets tiresome at times, but how can we, normal everday people, aid in the fight against this injustice? How would you want someone to respond if this was your niece or your daughter who found themselves in this situation?
I recently attended an anti-trafficking forum put on by World Hope International, a wonderful organization that is doing great relief and development work all over the world. Obviously, this problem is very complex. It is overwhelming to see the multiple factors that play critical roles in this type of organized crime and thus make it very difficult for me to even begin to see how I can play a part in advocating for the victims. The forum brought together professionals in this field and concerned citizens to brainstorm innovative ways to fight human trafficking. I attended a couple of breakout sessions, one entitled "The Role Men Play in Sex-Trafficking" and one centering on research in Cambodia on sex tourism and the part pornography plays. [i wanted to run out of the room during this session, it was utterly terrifying]
A lot to digest, but I do have to say that in the midst of what is a very sad and unsettling situation, I do see hope. God's people are doing something and it's exciting to see those in bondage being set free.
If you want to learn more about human trafficking, let me know-- (emmaleeseybert@gmail.com)-- I, personally, am just learning, but I can email you about some great organizations that will offer you much more information.
http://www.kvue.com/news/top/stories/041509kvue-HumanTrafficking-eh.d8efabbd.html
http://www.krqe.com/dpp/news/crime/crime_krqe_albuquerque_experts_target_youngsters_in_sex_trade_2009041420400
http://claremontportside.com/index.php?/20090413236/International/Modern-Day-Slavery.html
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/laworder/story/E0CC4539E4E174A486257597005AD3AB?OpenDocument
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=483924
http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/dpp/news/2_Charged_with_Underage_Sex_Trafficking_041609
http://www.thedailyaztec.com/city/eye-on-illegal-traffic-1.1715013
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/04/my-entry-1.html
Feels so unreal...Researching and reading articles like these opens my eyes to see the reality of what is happening around us, even in the land of the free. I am continually shocked at what I learn on a daily basis through IJM of what is happening in the realm of human trafficking across the globe and always caught without words to see what is happening only a few streets away from me.
Most likely, girls and boys are being trafficked and sold for sex in a city near you. Did you know this? I know this question gets tiresome at times, but how can we, normal everday people, aid in the fight against this injustice? How would you want someone to respond if this was your niece or your daughter who found themselves in this situation?
I recently attended an anti-trafficking forum put on by World Hope International, a wonderful organization that is doing great relief and development work all over the world. Obviously, this problem is very complex. It is overwhelming to see the multiple factors that play critical roles in this type of organized crime and thus make it very difficult for me to even begin to see how I can play a part in advocating for the victims. The forum brought together professionals in this field and concerned citizens to brainstorm innovative ways to fight human trafficking. I attended a couple of breakout sessions, one entitled "The Role Men Play in Sex-Trafficking" and one centering on research in Cambodia on sex tourism and the part pornography plays. [i wanted to run out of the room during this session, it was utterly terrifying]
A lot to digest, but I do have to say that in the midst of what is a very sad and unsettling situation, I do see hope. God's people are doing something and it's exciting to see those in bondage being set free.
If you want to learn more about human trafficking, let me know-- (emmaleeseybert@gmail.com)-- I, personally, am just learning, but I can email you about some great organizations that will offer you much more information.
20 May 2009
reflections on love.
So...we have been studying the different characteristics of love throughout the month of May at IJM. The journey has definitely been an eye-opening experience thus far...
Each day as we pick apart 1 Corinthians 13 I have been forced to pause and take a significant look at how I love, how I perceive God as love, and how I choose to accept love.
This morning we meditated on how love believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. We also looked at this quote from C.S. Lewis that has captivated me all day... just wanted to share~
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” C.S. Lewis
Each day as we pick apart 1 Corinthians 13 I have been forced to pause and take a significant look at how I love, how I perceive God as love, and how I choose to accept love.
This morning we meditated on how love believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. We also looked at this quote from C.S. Lewis that has captivated me all day... just wanted to share~
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” C.S. Lewis
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